Diary – January 16, 1980

TE_Mortifying Diary pic 01You know what? I don’t even hardly hang around with no one that I used to anymore. It’s weird. I really kinda don’t even feel like I ever even did. They are all real concerned with themselves, y’know?

Like me and SA always freak peepul out. We’ll just sit there and talk about sex real casual like. And if you said something like “I need to go out and buy a new whip” in front of my old gang, they’d go “Oh that’s gross, no way!” They try to be real cute or something. I don’t know, it’s just a real trip.

I am real happy with myself now that I have friends I like and trust. I could tell S something and she wouldn’t just want to hear it so she could make it the hot spot of the week’s gossip. She wants to know because we have stuff in common and just out of curiosity.

She isn’t like S who tries to be Dear Abby and solve my problems. She’ll say, “Oh yeah, I know what you mean,” and tell me something like it that happened to her.

I don’t even listen to people when they say, “Just do this and that and tell him to do whatever and don’t say that, you know you are and everyone else does too.” I never believe any of that stuff for a minute.

I don’t even want to get into one of those things like with SO last year. It was hell. I was depressed and followed her around like a puppy. She ain’t so much.

I am though. You wanna know why? Cause I like myself a whole lot. I’m real happy with what I’m doing now. I’m not getting’ all involved with anyone or getting’ into people’s probs or puttin’ on an act to be tough. I am being me and I’m tellin’ people how I feel. I’m not runnin’ around kissing anyones butt just to be their “buddy.”

I am me and I am neato kazito. I know that I have at least some friends who like me for who I am and that’s a hell of a lot better than how I felt last year.

And I don’t even want to go around with no one now. I’d like to like someone, but not go around. I don’t wanna be tied down.

I feel so good right now! I’m gonna be in the best mood tomorrow and it’s because of me! Super happy me! Damn I’m doin’ good! This is so great!

This entry was posted in Diary, Diary Dramatica, Humor, Lesbian, Relationships, Terribly Earnest and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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