Diary – May 21, 1979

TE_Mortifying Diary pic 01Hi. What’s happnin’ man? Well, me and D are officially going together. We were before but we never did nothing before, but now we french out after school everyday. He’s so nice when I’m alone with him, but sometimes I get mad at him when I’m hanging around with the gang. No, but really he’s pretty super.

When we first started kissing after school I thought it was kinda gross frenching. I mean sticking my tongue in someone else’s mouth wasn’t exactly my idea of the neatest thing to do. But now I enjoy it.

I think frenching is supposed to like represent sex. I mean, like in sex the MJ LMP Kiss.gifguy puts his weenie into the girls panoch, and in frenching the guy puts his tongue in the girls mouth, so it seems to me that it kinda goes together. And its also like since the girl doesn’t have a weenie she uses her tongue (weenie) into the guys mouth (panoch).

It sounds weird but I read somewhere that some girls feel inadequate because they don’t have a weenie. Maybe thats why they’re lezbos so they can be with a girl and be the one to be like the man. Because they’re jealous of the guys weenie and they don’t want to have sex with him, because they’re mad he has a weenie and she doesn’t.

Anyway, I’m not jealous, I wouldn’t want a weenie. I mean, what do guys do with it when they wear tite pants? I guess they put in on one side. That’s why guys always have a lump up on they’re legs. But it seems like if they walked it would rub against their weenie and they would get a boner. I swear, it’s the funniest thing when a guy has a big lump sticking out of his pants. I guess its kinda embarassing for the guy though.

Once, when I was in P.E. I was playing paddle tennis with SB and he had on these sweat pants and he goes, “Hey Buttercup.” I turned around and and he pulls his pants right down. I just go, “Oh God.” But in was so funny because he didn’t have no hair. Then I see this lump sticking out the front of his pants. What a bust!

I guess girls get everything sooner than most guys. Like girls get their period and stuff when they’re about 12 or 13, but with guys sometimes its 13 but mostly 14 or 15. Ds gonna be 14 in a few months and his voice is just starting to change, it always squeaks. When girls get their periods, guys get wet dreams. I guess they have sexy dreams and get a boner and ejaculate (come) when they’re asleep.

Oh, you wanna know what I think is pretty gross? Giving head! Or fellatio if you wanna get technical. But I imagine putting a guys weenie in my mouth! I mean like what about when he comes!? Gross me out! Or cunnilings are pretty sick, too. But I won’t get into that.

This chick, PP, was going with this guy, RF. He wanted to break up, but she didn’t. So he said he’d stay with her if she gave head to him. So she did!

This girl at my school named PD is pregnant. She’s only 14, doesn’t know who the father is and is gonna get an abortion. Pretty sad.

Okay, that’s about all the sex stuff I care to write about. Now back to my life. Geez, those 4 pages all started out from me frenching D. Far-out!

There’s another gas shortage. Its sick, gas costs about a dollar a gallon and people wait in line foe 4 hours for it, or some even spend the night parked in front of the line. So I go out in the morning and sell coffee for a quarter a cup. I made 39 bucks this week-end!

This entry was posted in Diary, Diary Dramatica, Humor, Kiss, Lesbian, Terribly Earnest and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Diary – May 21, 1979

  1. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week.

    The second funniest was the contractor’s proposed punchlist for a chemical project, so don’t let it go to your head.

    Tell me that you really wrote that in 1979.


  2. I really wrote it in 1979. When I fabricate portions of my life, I try to make myself seem like less of a dork. I also try to refrain from using the term “lezbo” and make it a point to spell “cunnilings” right. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s more important to do it right than to spell it right.


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